Radiantmother.com - Supporting New Mothers Since 2001

new mother coach

How I work..

What's it like to work with me? On this page, let me tell you what results you can expect and what my guiding beliefs are.

What can you expect?

First things first. Because you are new at mothering, and you are exhausted and perhaps isolated, you cannot see the wood for the trees. I will help you identify your biggest stresses. I will help you put structures in place that lessen your biggest enemies - sleeplessness and isolation and low self-esteem /helplessness. Only when you are more rested, connected to others and thinking more clearly will we proceed to explore the next level.

I will help you to understand and accept that becoming a mother sets off a developmental crisis that can be as confusing and tough as adolescence. I will also show you what a wonderful opportunity it is to be able to rediscover your unique values and guiding principles. I will help you explore these in relation to being a mother so that it becomes much less confusing to make decisions about your how your baby sleeps, eats etc. I will help you to understand that no-one can really tell you how to be a mother or what to do. Together we will find the answers from within you.

Together we will explore and explode the mothering myths that are all around us! I will help you to see how trying to be a perfect mother works against you and your baby. Instead we will embrace the ideal of the good enough mother who is calmer, more relaxed and able to balance her baby's needs with her own needs and with the rest of her life and relationships.

My Guiding Values and Beliefs

Mothering and Parenting are enormous responsibilities and when we become responsible for the safety, care and development of a child, we must expect ourselves to act consiously, reflectively and thoughtfully. I do not believe this can be done in isolation. Every new mother requires a trusting relationship within which she can freely explore her new experiences and responses. If no frienship, family relationship or partner like this exists in her life, she must find this space elsewhere.

Becoming a mother for the first time is often a deeply life-changing event. Not only is your baby relentlessly demanding, but so is the anxiety that drives you from one sleep-deprived day to the next and forces you to grow yourself up as a parent within yourself. If you are too isolated and disconnected this can overwhelm you and lead to ways of dealing with first time mothering that make things even harder for you.

Some mothers may be too structured and rigid with their babies. Other moms may be excessively self-sacrificing and neglect themselves in the "interests" of their baby. Some moms may feel worried all the time without being able to calm themselves down and other moms feel cut-off and sad.

It is my belief that when new mothers are well informed, prepared and supported by family, friends, peers and professionals, they are less likely to experience overwhelming emotional distress during their pregnancy and postpartum / post-adoption months.

New mothers require a break from usual tasks and activities; time to recover and get to know their infant. And the experience of being listened to, recognized, celebrated and understood!

My Approach

You wil find me sensitive, attuned, responsive and respectful. I listen deeply to what you say and what you do not say. I aim to understand your unique experience so that I can best help you discover and build on your strenghts and let go of ways of doing things that do not serve you in this situation.

I am flexible. I do not offer a one size fits all solution. My greatest gift is in offering you the space to consolidate your own mothering self. One that will stand by you in all the years to come as a mother.

I am above all open-minded about the many ways we can become parents..I am comfortable working with heterosexual married couples, gay couples adopting or using surrogacy and egg-donation, lesbian couples, single women using sperm donation, women adopting babies or embryos or becoming mothers via egg donation.

Why work with ME?

I have years of experience as a psychotherapist in private practice. I am a step-mother to 3 grown children and a mother to three children - a singleton and twins. After my first child was born I became fascinated with the changes and developments occurring within me. At the time I was a doctoral candidate in a rigorous psychodynamic psychotherapy program. I read and wrote about mothering as a developmental process.

I started working psychotherapeutically with new mothers focusing on helping them adjust to mothering and also treating postpartum anxiety and depression.

I have taken my psychodynamic understanding of this process and blended it with aspects of life coaching especially useful to new mothers such as being grounded in the present time, buidling structures that support and calm, taking baby action steps, and focusing on moving foward into mothering using my client's internal and external strengths and relationships.

Next step..

Now that you have a better idea of working with me, my approach and philosophy, you may want to go to my services page and learn about the specific services I offer.

Finding YOUR Mothering Style

Kim Richardson will encourage you to find your own way, and suggest how you can find support when you seem to have lost your way.

To find your own mothering style, you need:

1.Time - this is a process that cannot be rushed. Becoming a new mother is a TRANSITION that takes place over time. It is a transition that you are required to ADJUST and ADAPT to. You will need time to get to know your baby and yourself as mother. Getting to know each other happens slowly and moment by moment.

Kim Richardson, ideally, will work with you for a minimum of 4-6 months. This will give you the time needed to process all the changes that are happening inside you and your baby.

2.Support - without support, you have very little time. Support structures involve asking for help and delegating. Many women are not comfortable with asking for support.

Kim Richardson will help you identify what you need and how to ask for it.

3.Self Knowledge - the ability to reflect on the areas where you are limited and unsure, and the areas where you are strong and confident. As well as ways to manage your limitations and celebrate your strengths. Self-knowledge means knowing realistically what you can and cannot manage. Sometimes it means throwing out old ways of coping and learning new ones or seeing things in a different way.

Kim Richardson encourages Self-Knowledge through deep listening, reflecting back, powerful questioning and various written exercises. This helps you discover new things about yourself that can best serve you in your journey into motherhood and beyond.

4.Baby Care Information - basic baby care info is everywhere and easy to find! It becomes complicated, however, when your own needs are at odds with your baby's needs. And when there are so many clashing ideas about hot issues like separations, schedules and sleep.

Kim Richardson helps you identify your own personal values that will guide you to be selective about the many ideas and huge body of advice that can overwhelm and confuse you.

5.A Back-up Plan - a plan for when things get tough, and they will. there will be days and nights when you feel you are at your wits end, when your baby is sick or will not sleep, or you are sick or tired and feel like you have reached your limits. Knowing that this happens and what you can do at times like this is important.

Kim Richardson will help you identify your breaking points, and learn to use helpful ways to deal with stress, anxiety, exhaustion. A back-up plan helps you avoid new mother burnout.

6. Balance - probably the most critical element is to find your balance. Just like the toddler learning to work, finding your balance means that you first hold on to a table or somebody and practice step by step. It requires you to stumble and fall and learn from your mistakes by making adjustments. Balance in mothering is crucial and learning how to balance your needs and your family's needs will go a long way in the future.

Kim Richardson will focus on helping you find your balance!